Fic: Supernatural: The Angel Trap

[glory_jean]

Title: The Angel Trap
Author: Glory_Jean
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing/Characters: Dean Winchester/Castiel
Rating: PG
Length:1694
Beta: ididitallofitforyou
Summary: Not long after Cas returns from the empty, Dean and Cas get drawn into an undercover case by their favorite wayward young hunters. But they quickly realize it’s not what they expect. Meanwhile even though Dean knows he isn’t relationship material he’s having trouble keeping his feelings to himself. Cas and this case are not helping matters. Not to mention this pack of annoying kids. Claire and Alex have a plan. Patience and Kaia are along for the ride. Jack is just having a good time.*

Notes: Season 13 if most of that *waves hands* Apocalypse World stuff didn’t happen. Don’t worry about it. It’s total crack. Written forunconventionalcourtship 2025

**See below






Dean's face was half buried in his pillow but he still heard Cas and Jack talking in his sleep.

"Should we wake him?"

"You saw what happened last time."

"'Like a bear.' Yes."

"Exactly."

"But Alex said it was an emergency."

"I'm not sure her definition of an 'emergency' is the same as ours."

Dean could practically hear the air quotes. He spoke without even raising his head.

"There'd better be coffee in your hand."

When he felt a warm mug being pressed into his palm he sat up.

"Jack got a call from Alex. She and Patience are on a hunt with Claire and Kaia and they need some advice."

"They want us to drive out and help," Jack added.

"Why is Alex on a hunt? What about Jody or Donna?"

"They didn't say. But it sounded urgent."


***

Dean dumped his gear in Baby's trunk and slid behind the wheel. Jack grinned at him from the back seat, happy as a puppy to be going anywhere. Cas took shotgun. It was weird for it to be just him and Cas again.

And well, Jack of course.

But Dean had to push down how right it felt to have Cas sitting beside him. They had a job to do, silly and sentimental were not on the schedule.


***


“Dean!” Alex practically shouted at him the moment he walked into the motel room.

“And Cas,” she added with slightly less volume as the angel in question entered a step behind. “The two of you, both of you. Um, great to see you!”

Claire clapped Alex on her back a little too hard.

“Of course they are both here Alex, we did ask for their help. We’re lucky they were close by, since Sam and Mary are busy on a case.”

“I know that. I’m just glad everyone’s alive and happy and,” she gestured vaguely, “everything.”

Dean narrowed his eyes. “Riight. Thanks for that.”

“We know how much you guys and Jody worry we won’t ask for help when we need it. So, here we are, asking for help.” Claire said.

“Smooth,” Alex murmured.

“Oh, we brought Jack along too. We didn’t want to leave him alone in the bunker. Where is Jack anyway?”

Dean frowned at the door.

“He was going to look at the vending machine,” Cas told him. “I gave him money.”

Dean grimaced. “Better make sure he doesn’t load up on caffeine again.”

Cas looked a little haunted at the reminder. But as though summoned, Jack, arms full of snacks, appeared with Patience and Kaia in tow.

“Look who I found!”

“That's great, Jack,” Claire said tightly. She smiled but it was more terrifying than mirthful.

“It's like a big happy family reunion,” Patience said brightly.

“So, why the emergency call?” Dean asked.

“Yes - right. We’re stuck on a case.”

“Something’s been attacking couples.” Alex blurted.

Claire shot her a look.

“Yes. As I was saying. It’s a local tourist trap hotel. Couples check in, but they don’t check out.”

“Regular roach motel?” Dean joked. They all looked confused and he sighed.

“Someone’s a hater.” Patience added. “Who doesn’t love, um love?”

“Seriously,” Alex said.

“Monsters are just so monstrous,” Kaia agreed.

“Anyway. We need someone to go undercover as a couple to draw out whatever is going after people.”

Dean’s head swiveled back and forth as he tried to keep up with their chaotic explanation. He was starting to feel a little dizzy. “So why couldn’t Claire and Kaia --”

“Well, we wanted to,” Alex interrupted, “But Kaia has been really sick. It was worrying.”

Claire side-eyed Alex and then cast Kaia an intense stare.

“Oh! Yes- so sick.” Kaia coughed a couple of times into her hand. “I could barely get out of bed. I'm still so weak.”

To prove it, she slumped down in her chair.

“So, that’s when we thought you guys would be great for this job. You love going undercover.”

“Role playing, wearing little costumes.” Alex muttered.

“Yes, like I said.” Claire smiled aggressively. “Just the guys for the job.”

“So, how many couples have gone missing?”

“Four—”

“Five—“

Alex and Claire glared at each other before Claire continued.

“Four or five. It's been hard to tell. Cops are no help. We only heard about it from a friend of a friend.”

“Strange it hasn't been in the news.” Cas commented.

“Well, small towns. Maybe they don't want to scare the tourists.” Alex shrugged.

“Maybe. Maybe we should take more time to figure out what we’re up against.”

At that moment Kaia’s foot seemed to gain sentience and catch Jack in the ankle. He shot to his feet.

“I know! Why don’t I take Kaia and Patience and do research! You hate having to do that anyway, Dean. I bet I can find a library.”

Cas frowned. “Are you sure, Jack?” He looked as though he wanted to check Jack for a fever in case he’d caught Kaia’s bug in the short time they’d been there.

“I’m sure. It’ll be fun!”

Cas started to say something more but Alex brandished a key card at them.

“We haven’t told you the rest yet. We already booked you guys a room at the hotel where it’s all been happening. And we talked you up to the staff—”

“Exactly,” Claire broke in, grabbing the key card. “If that doesn’t get our love hater’s attention, nothing will.”

“Right, we should get you over there then.” Alex nodded, abruptly enthusiastic. “We’ll take care of all the research and boring stuff. You guys head over the hotel, look all coupley, and seem like perfect bait for whatever we’re hunting. When we move to take it down, it’ll never see it coming.”


***

Cas and Dean found themselves standing at the entrance of an inscrutable structure. It was part stone cottage, part Victorian gingerbread, part… lighthouse, maybe?

They entered through a pair of heavy wooden doors inset with oval panes of stained glass sunflowers.

The lobby was violently pink. It was a theme hotel, but Dean couldn’t imagine what the theme was. Aside from, ‘flower shop explosion’.

Dean hustled Cas to their room, up the world’s weirdest staircase in an effort to escape all the crazy.

His plan failed spectacularly.

The sign on the door to their room was labeled the “Just Like Heaven” suite. Either side of the door was guarded by a golden cherub sconce. Cas eyed them dubiously as though trying to decide whether he was offended.

Dean unlocked the door and pushed him inside before he could start ranting about inaccurately depicted angels. Unfortunately, the inside was not an improvement. Someone had embraced the theme and ran with it. The ceiling and walls were sky blue with fluffy clouds. More cherub sconces glowed softly as Dean hit the nearest light switch.

The bed, because of course there was only one, was covered in silver and gold bedding. In the sitting area, the couch, arm chairs and ottoman were a variegated blue fabric with a white feather brocade.

Off to the side, a glass-topped dining table for two, was painted a garish gold.

But the centerpiece of the room was a spiral staircase climbing into the ceiling helpfully labeled the “Stairway to Heaven.” As it turned out, it led to a little glassed-in observation deck with an overabundance of floor pillows.

The bathroom was a little less over the top, but not by much.

Once he’d taken in the full extent of their surroundings, Dean drifted to the chairs and sat in stunned silence.

“What. The. Hell.” Dean groaned at last.

Cas’ expression seemed to vacillate between confusion and indignation. He frowned at a cherub and moved to sit at the table then thought better of it and chose the other arm chair instead.

“Is this room a reference to something?”

“Bad taste?”

Cas hummed thoughtfully.

Someone knocked on the door and Dean snapped to attention. He glanced sharply at Cas and they moved warily toward the door.

Dean twisted the knob and pulled it open slowly. A man with a wide grin and a catering cart stood there.

“Room service!” he announced cheerfully.

“We didn’t order anything,” Cas told him.

“No, of course not!” the man said, positively gleeful. “Your daughters took care of everything!”

“Our… ?”

“Daughters?” Dean choked.

“Yes!” He flipped open a card and read, “Happy anniversary to our Dads. Love Alex, Claire, Patience, Kaia, and Jack. Oh, you have a son too. Wonderful. I only met two of the girls. So sweet, your girls.”

“Yes, sweet,” Dean muttered moving aside to let the man wheel his cart into the room.

He whistled a jaunty tune as he set the table. At least the cloth he covered it with hid the brassy gold base.

“Tell me,” Cas asked. “Have you had any trouble here recently?”

“Trouble?”

“Yes,” Dean jumped on Cas’ cue. “People leaving early. Possibly skipping out on their bill. We read that it’s a big problem these days.”

“Here? No, no. Our hotel is pretty unique. People pretty much come for the novelty. Also, we’re kind of off the beaten track.”

“Ah,” Cas sighed. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” The man finished setting up and wished them a good evening.

Dean eyed the setup. Suspiciously, it was all his favorites laid out with much more presentation than warranted. He picked up the card. On one corner was another note. “Don’t say we never did anything for you.”

“We’ve been set up, haven’t we?” he groaned as he handed the card to Cas.

“I think,” Cas said slowly. “We have.”

“Have we —” Dean gulped. “Have we been Parent Trapped?”

Cas’ stilled, his face suddenly blank. Oh, he understood that reference. Metatron’s choices in media were always surprising.

After a moment, Dean shrugged and sat down at the table. Who was he to turn down a free meal?

“Should we tell them we’ve been together for years?”

Cas shrugged. “Up to you.”

“Nah, let’s keep ‘em guessing.”

“So, will we be plotting how to get back at them?”

Dean grinned, mouth full of burger. “Oh, you can bet your sweet ass, angel.”



__________________________________________________



* This fic was based on the summary for the novel The Nanny’s Little Matchmakers by Danica Favorite. I hope that my rewritten summary is close enough to the spirit of the prompt. I first attempted a human AU, but it was quickly going into longfic territory and that wasn't going to work.

** The hotel featured is loosely based on The Madonna Inn in central California. Google it.